For whole my life, I have been told that woman should not waste their time concentrating studies in school. Why is it a waste of time? In my community that I have been living for the first 17 years of my life is that woman will always end up working in the kitchen after marriage. How true is this fact?
My opinion? True and Wrong.True: Yes, Women still have to be the one in-charge of the household, taking care of the house chores, utilities bill etc. Because women responsibility have been made that way, I am okay with that fact.
Wrong: No, You CANNOT DEPEND only on husband income. What happen if this husband of yours have a itchy heart and felt in love with another younger girls, left you hanging without warn with probably 3 kids of yours, and all this while you have been so hardworking with no income but given 1/3 of husband salary to take care of the kids, house chores, utilities bill etc? or another worse scenario? What happen if your husband dies accidentally (touch wood btw) and you only been concentrating working in the kitchen and taking care of the children and house chores for the past, lets say for 10 years for example, with house mortgage, car loan, children school fee, tuition fee, children birthday parties, children bicycle, phone bill etc. Do you think that there are good income awaiting to hire you? No!
This issue have been bugging me since I were form 1. Yes, I was so worry about my future that I do not want to see myself get pregnant or marry a dude just because, woman is made that way.
My teacher once told me,
"You can't live a life only to depend on 3 certificate"
1. Birth Certificate
2. Marriage Certificate
3. Death Certificate
The truth is, my academic achievement was never been appreciated by my parents. I know, I sounded ridiculous, which parent don't appreciate children achievement right?!?!? Please do not get me wrong, as what I am about to tell you, You will agree why that I have such though about my parents. (Before you start judging I am a bad child, I have come to terms to accept my parents ways of taking care of us siblings since I graduated 3 years ago)
When I was in year 1, I was so lousy in all subjects. Unfortunately, I am terribly an idiot child to start with. I even get 0% for English test and the last place in my class. Any number adds up more than 10 (which I calculate with my finges T_T) I will stuck. That is how idiot I am.
In year 2 - My dad step in to make me improve my poor academic performance. (Note that my dad was studied in an all boys school, with an ex-army as the principal who carries around big cane around the school. Yes, it was a strict school. He spend most of his time studying in school until 10pm. Every. Single. Day.) My dad, he made his own private tuition time with me, in this extra room we have, with a folding table and 2 chairs in it. I still remember the dim orange light very well, I don't think I will ever to forget that orange light.
On the table, there is always this 1 math exercise book which is in English, until here, it was all good, except, the big cane that he must always have on the table. I can't even add 7+8, let alone reading the question which is written in English. Do you know how many cane reaches my left hand just to remember to spell and pronounce the word "SENTENCES"? I cried every single night during that year 2 first semester (6 months to be exact) That cane punishment hurts! and to see my 2 brothers peeping through the window from living, laughing and saying "very good cham pu lut" How I hated my brother so much that time.
I still remember, how scared I was whenever the time strikes 7pm. I was so scared, I don't even dare to yell when I cry. Imagine, an 8 year old child to learn how to take the pain with only a silent cry. I admit it, as a normal child, that pain affected me. I often woke up at night, feeling scared. Holding to my chest, crying and pleading for forgiveness, and ask everything to slow down, even though there aren't anyone in my bedroom. If I hear my parents in the living room watching the television. I would ran and sit in the living room. My blurry parents who saw me who just sat on the sofa, of course would nag me to go to bed. My only response was, to ask them not to talk so fast, or plead them not to walk so fast. In my eye, I can only see everything going left to right so fast. I can not see them very well. This happens for few times which by then, make my Dad realize something wrong with me. He stop the private tuition once I got my report card for the first semester. I jump from number 40 to number 8 in my class.In Year 3,4,5 - I am struggling to learn how to learn independently. I was still a bit slow.
In Year 6 - I got my first 100% in Moral Studies and I thought to myself. Finally I can show to my parents that I am not stupid anymore. I can finally rely on my self studies! even though if compared to other children, I was a bit slow. Though, I was hoping for a praise or a motivation from my parents. This is their answer was when I show them the test paper, "Cheh..., If you are smart, You should get 100% for your English Spelling Test" .....
Form 1 - I requested my mum to send me to tuition class. Her respond was, "Are you sure!? Or are you just want to join your friends to play and wasting my money" My mum was not a literate person, she does not know what is tuition class at that time. :) Though, instead of sending me to outside tuition class, she send me to my neighbour house, RM50 for all subjects. =.="
Form 2 - I am still not satisfy with my English grammar, I requested my Mum to send me to Singapore English Tuition Class. This time, my mum yell, "Do you know how expensive is that class or not! Can't you just learn it in school?" Awesome mum that she were, (after she ask her friend about Singapore English benefit) she send me + my brother to attend the class T____T
Form 3 - I won the spelling competition during English week in my class. I won it with the word "Bouquet" My prize were 2 pencil and an eraser. =.=" I go back and told my mum about it, and her response was, "Cheh...., If you were smart, You should get 100% in your Mathematics test" ....
Form 4 - During this time, you would think that it's actually impossible to get 100% in Mathematic subject, knowing that, (during that time not knowing how lucky I was to only have 2 A's in my PMR result and still allocated in science stream class.) No one expected me to be in science stream, not even my neighbours. But! Belief it or not. I really get 100% in Mathematic subject!!! By this time, I know guaranteed! FOR SURE, that My parents would be proud of me, so I showed my mum proudly my 100% MATHEMATIC test paper to her. And her response was, "CHEH....., If you were smart, You should get 100% in all your subjects!" .............................
WTF! I was so PISSED OFF that I think to myself, What is all my hardwork for that no one actually appreciated it, even for once?
In the same year, I was awarded with the highest average mark for my English Subject in the school. The school is kind enough to hold a small awarding ceremony to all student being awarded and that I was told to invite both my parents to watch me get my award. The saddest part was that, when I told my parents to come to school and attend the ceremony. They actually have a bit argument, pushing each other on who to attend, during the midst where the argument started to heat up, I slammed and yell, roughly remembering that I told them "no need to attend and that my award was just a piece of shit." :X My mum attend it.
In Form 5 - During this time. I already quit everything and just wanted to finish my SPM, pack my bags and leave the house. Thus, my poor performance on my SPM result.
During my college years, there were good and there were bad times. Which I might need to re-think whether to share it with you. But not at the moment. You see, not everyone have the same great academic background like you do. I do not blame my parents for their lack of interests in my academic performance. I wish they would, but I learn to understand that they did that because of not wanting to spoil me. It's just their way of making me an independent person. I learn to know, that my hard work is not suppose to get my parents praise. The hard work, is for myself and what I beneficial from it.
My advice, your happiness will only achieve from your satisfaction on your hard work. Not sharing other peoples success. I remember how proud I am to myself, not caring the fact that I am standing in front of thousands of people (including my parents), wearing the green/black graduation gown, with a square hat, knowing that I was awarded because I know I can, and I know I deserves it. That is all my gruesome hard work. :) and more to come, jia you every one! do not give up, because you won't realize that what you are fighting for, is beneficial even more than what you expected.